Pretty soon, we're going to be reviewing the Five Love Languages. It's a wonderful book. In it, Gary Chapman explains that individuals express their love in five distinction languages. Two of these 'love languages' are romantic actions and physical touch (with sex as an example).
Well, these are important questions to ponder. Which are your love languages? How do you describe and communicate love to your partner? Communicating your love is absolutely essential for a better sex life, so we're glad to share this article from sex coach Eric Amaranth on how and why for him, sexual acts outweigh romantic gestures. What are your thoughts? Don't forget to comment!
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I was given a questionnaire by a reporter recently and one of the questions was a really good one, which I based the title of this blog post on. In my professional opinion, quality sexual acts outweigh romantic gestures.
Here are two stories explaining why:
When I was in my teens, sending love/adoration poems and flowers in creative ways was fun and the girls in my life did like those things. However, my sex life began and I had already taken on an intention to create sexual enjoyment for my girlfriend in a big way.The wow factor and appreciation that she felt for me was ten-fold over what it was for my poems and flowers; which she did love, but not nearly as much as she did before she had big orgasms during hot sex. The enormity of those erotic sensations trumped FTD and Shelley-inspired writings.
Romantic gestures became the icing on the rich moist cake that was our sex life together. That said, she and I both let go of a great deal of our attachment and reliance on those gestures because the power of the sex was so much more profound and bonding. The women in my future would all echo to the affirmative.
The second anecdote I have is about eight years ago, a friend of mine in my teenage years contacted me out of the blue. He took issue with the fact that I had changed my perspective from poetry and flower-giving to an emphasis on being able to bring the sex skills home to the bedroom. I explained to him in a reply email my perspective.
That said, the gestures are not relied on. Adding a small heart-shaped box of quality chocolates to eat before and after said amazing sex is a bonus, but that’s the appetizer or dessert and not the main course. More romantic verbal compliments happen with a happy sex life, without a doubt.
Right now, more people are doing as I did years ago. They’re wondering if there is more to romance than these gestures: cards, jewelry, flowers, chocolates, dinners out. This is, by the way, part of the reason why I decided to become a sex life coach. To come back from my training and exploration to provide a faster path to those who want something even more powerful than the flowers and tennis bracelets. The most important thing is to move up to the level on the mountain where you can see the larger view of incorporating stellar sex in with your romantic gestures. Have both! Then see where your quality of life and love life will be.
Originally posted at Sex Life Coach NYC.
Eric Amaranth is a sex life coach who specializes in women’s and men’s sexuality, basic to advanced sex skills, and high-end sex education. Check out his website, Sex Life Coach NYC. Eric is not a psychology-based “sex therapist,” which is the term that the public uses to refer to every professional in his field, regardless of training background. After graduating from The College of William and Mary, he went on to become the ten-year protege of pioneering sex coach Betty Dodson, PhD.Eric’s sex life coaching is made for adults. He has knowledge and methodology differences that set him apart from what psychology-based sex therapists have to offer. Eric works with clients from all over the world toward his ambitious goal that his brand of sex life coaching would one day significantly reduce the instances of divorce. Eric lives in New York City, in Manhattan, with his much-loved girlfriend. Find him on Twitter @Eric_Amaranth and subscribe to him on Facebook.
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