It's time to open the bag of GetLusty questions.
We get this question all the time. According to Today, it's one of the four biggest marriage problems. Marriage problems can lead to bad sex, so that's why we're going to be reporting on the psychological elements of having better sex soon.
Before then, we answer a readers' question.***
Reader question
"Dear GetLusty,
I don't think my husband really wants to have sex. We're both so busy, whenever I have free time, we end up too tired to make love. How do I have more sex with my husband?
Signed,
Need to cum"
Dear need to cum,That sucks. Many of us at GetLusty have experienced this problem. Including me.
There could be several solutions based on what you and your husband express your love. However, one full-proff way is a good start.
From what we've heard from sex educators like Shanna Katz and sexologists like Melissa Jones is scheduling is the first step to having more sex. She Knows also recommends this essential practice. This isn't just for you--it's for you and hubby!
OK, you might be thinking: that's going to be the ultimate in boring! The short answer? You'd be surprised, actually. Scheduling sex may be the best thing you've ever done for your sexual relationship.
Below are several tips I've used for successfully scheduling sex, even when we're both busy.
1. Tell your lover you'd love to make love with them more frequently
2. During that conversation, make sure not to get defensive. It's about having a better relationship, not making your significant other feel bad.
3. Ask when you both might be able to schedule a (30-minute? 1-hour? 2 hour?) window to make love this week. Would you like to do it 3 times weekly? 2 times weekly? What's the maximum and minimum you'd both like to make love weekly?
4. Agree to those standards.
5. Once the day rolls around, make sure to get prepared with toys, lubricant or other accessories if you'd like. Want to try BDSM? Anal sex or something else? Chat briefly, negotiate your sexual needs and enjoy!
6. Once you both have completed your week of amazing sex (or sensual) experiences, celebrate! You both are committed to your relationship. You're awesome!
7. Keep it up! Every week, make sure to re-access if you're not keeping up with your goals.
Hope that helps!
This is post by Erica Grigg, our Founder and Chief Lust Officer. She's a writer, marketer, social entrepreneur and sex geek. She wants to end boring sex. If you don't see Erica riding around downtown, Chicago in her beach cruiser or at a diner with her adoring husband, you see her chatting up the tech community about the importance of sex and love in marriage. Follow Erica on Twitter @ericagrigg or subscribe via Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.
Want to connect about writing, or business partnership with a woman-run business that cares? E-mail me directly at erica@getlusty.com.
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