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Foreplay simply means any kind of sexual activity that precedes intercourse, so why not try to make it as arousing as possible? Here are 6 kinds of foreplay you should consider experimenting with.
#1 Erogenous zones
Male and female anatomy have different sensitive zones. We all know that the pubic area is very sensitive (that’s why sex rocks) but foreplay concentrates on the rest of the body. People under estimate how sensitive the rest of their bodies are. In fact, many people can have orgasms without even having their genitals touched, if stimulated correctly. The ears are a great area to focus on because they are loaded with thousands of nerve endings. Focus on areas that don’t receive much attention: the under arms, back of the knees, sides of the body, and hips. Try lightly stimulating these areas with gentle touches, squeezes, kisses, and licks. It will feel like you are requesting permission to pleasure them.
For some help with male erogenous zones, try His 10 Erogenous Zones You Should Know.
#2 Try a toy
Sometimes a trip to a local sex shop is just what the doctor ordered! Playing with a vibrator, massager, flavored lotion, or a soy candle can be quite inspiring. One of the most amazing things I can recommend is getting a scalp massager (one of those spider-looking things) and use it on your partner.
They have a gentle touch that can thrill you with anticipation extending to all sorts of nerves. It is also wonderful because it will seem more unpredictable than what you're used to, and the chilly metal can be a wonderful feeling.
#3 Withholding
A popular sex technique is to back off when you know your partner is about to cum and rebuild the orgasm for a more intense climax. Try this same technique with foreplay; try taking it slow, so much about sex is control—try being the one in charge of the pace and just when they can’t take it anymore and they want to begin intercourse, back off and let it rebuild.
This will build on your partner’s anticipation and as soon as you decide to begin, hand over the reins and just allow them to unleash all that passion. You will not regret it.
#4 Talking dirty
There are many shades of dirty talk, from vanilla compliments to kinky, dirty, and smutty. Keeping open communication with your partner will help you know their boundaries. If you still feel uncomfortable, we recommend two approaches:
Start simple by just telling your partner what you enjoy about them. It can be, “I love when you press up against me,” to, “You know just what to do to me.” Depending on the response, gauge how far you can go and how well they respond to what you are saying. The other approach is to dive right in: Say what you have always been thinking – like, “You know how to fuck me like nobody else,” or, “I’m going to fucking make you cum all over my mouth.” Some people will love to be called a slut, and others will find that distasteful. This approach is a little more of a risk if you haven’t done any dirty talk before but can be extremely rewarding for both of you if you hit the right note.
#5 Take it longer
For those of you into psychology and experiments, this will be perfect for you! This technique can be extended over a day or even a whole week (if you so choose.) The idea of it is to drop little sensual hints over a period of time driving your partner wild. It can start with the morning being just an erotic massage before work, but be sure to not to do anything more.
When they are at work, send them a text reminding them of how excited you are for them to get home tonight or how you can’t get them off your mind. When they come home, be sure to go out of your way to touch them when you normally would not, for example; brush by them in the hallway, hug them from behind when they're preparing dinner and sway your hips with theirs, put your leg under their leg at the dinner table. Simple acts that are not necessarily sexual, will get their attention. By the time you two head to bed, their eagerness will have been building all day and they will be ready to go.
#6 Clothes (and lack thereof)
Some people are afraid of lingerie but it could be a fantastic move for both of you! The most important thing you can do is buy something you feel comfortable wearing—a nice pair of panties with matching bra is something you can enjoy and can actually make you feel good.
Or try a sexy bodice that you love looking at yourself wearing; something that makes you feel sexy is ideal. The more comfortable you get with yourself in these clothes, the better it will be for the both of you. Another form of clothed foreplay is simply, clothed foreplay. You get completely different sensations from being touched when you have clothes on than when you do not. Try playing around with over-the-pants touching or fooling around wearing different fabrics. Sometimes a nice silk robe is a turn-on in itself. Sometimes, you don't need anything too special. Try walking around, carrying on as you normally would at home, wearing a short skirt or a revealing top. Get him/her to notice you. A sheer top with a black bra underneath, a button-down shirt, unbuttoned to show off your cleavage. Don't show too much, let his imagination take over, and don't be intentional – just walk past him a few times. When you sit, arch your back, sitting straight up, and cross your bare legs. Just tease him/her with the sight of you. Another thing you can try to do with clothes (or the lack of them) is a sexy dance. Try moving around to music; make a short routine to turn your partner on. People are turned on by sensual movement on the dance floor so why not try it in the bedroom?
Try any number of these foreplay recommendations, but I do recommend just trying one at a time to figure out what works best for you and your partner. You will probably come to find that a combination of some is exactly what you need, but hey, have fun with it! After all, it is sex.
Brittany just moved to Chicago after finishing her degree from FSU and arrived with a thirst to learn about everything that has to do with sex. Having been involved with The F-Word, The Vagina Monologues, amateur drag and sexuality classes, she is a very sex positive lady. When she's not admiring architecture, Brittany rocks the mic at stand-up comedy clubs across Chicago. Questions or comments? Get in touch via reply@getlusty.com.
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