How Important is Duration in Sex?

We don't have to say it twice but sex is extremely important in relationships. That's why planning to have sex is always hot for you and your partner! Sex should be consistent and fun and not stressful whatsoever. But, what if you are having sex and it's just not as long as you would like? Drs. Chuck and Jo-Ann Bird, one of our personal favorite and inspirational couples, are here to discuss the importance of duration in sex and how you can make the pleasure last longer! So how important is duration in sex? Read on to find out!

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It’s no secret that good sex can lead to a happier marriage, and a recent study has pinpointed that good sex is where most couples want to see improvement. Condom company Durex® polled 1,000 adults, married and single, and asked them intimate questions about their level of satisfaction with their sex lives, and the primary complaint they saw was the lack of duration in their sexual encounters.

A whopping 50 percent of people said they aren't happy with the duration (or lack thereof) they are experiencing in their sex lives. The average amount of time people reported for their average sexual encounter was 10 minutes, leading 38 percent of respondents to say that their lovemaking is over too fast. About 20 percent said they like their sexual encounters to last for at least half an hour.

The study also found, however, that about 25 percent said they actually prefer the 10 minute “quickee” to longer sessions. The study did not indicate why, but the conventional wisdom we have derived from our practice with our patients over the years is that life has become vastly more complicated. Many couples have three or four jobs between them just to make ends meet. Between the obligations of work, children and family, sometimes even having 10 minutes for a little fun can be a luxury.

A few more interesting tid-bits revealed by the study include: nearly 50 percent of all adults do not regularly achieve orgasm at the same time. In fact, more than a third of those surveyed said that it hardly ever, or never, happens.

More than three-fourths of respondents said they’ve made love in an “adventurous locale.” Among the favorite places cited in the study: the backseat of a car (though we suspect the family van may become a true multi-purpose vehicle at times), by the swimming pool (we’re assuming they don’t mean the lap pool down at the YMCA) and on a secluded beach.

But some prefer to stay at home. When they get tired of the bedroom, they send the kids out to the movies and take advantage of the air-conditioned square-footage in their homes. The favorite spots? The shower (31%), the couch (23%) and the porch (22%).

Women were asked what their fantasy locale for sex would be, and the top two answers were the Eiffel Tower and Buckingham Palace- okay, we could fill an entire blog with wisecracks on that one, so we’re just going to leave that one alone — except to say it makes us wonder if any enterprising guests of the Queen’s recent Diamond Jubilee took advantage of their backstage passes.

At the end of the day, the study’s final word of advice was something we espouse daily to our clients. If couples want to derive more satisfaction out of their sex lives, they need to talk. Discuss your needs, your wants, your fantasies and your schedules so you can not only have great sex together, but also have the proper time to spend doing it, as well.

Yours in good stamina,
Drs. Chuck and Jo-Ann Bird

Drs. Chuck and Jo-Ann Bird and are Board Certified Clinical Sexologists and Relationship Counselors. They co-counsel couples together which offers a unique and balanced male/female perspective and a combined therapy/coaching approach to helping their clients with a variety of relationship and sexual issues/concerns. Due to our last name and work they do, they've become known as “The Love Birds”. 

They have 16 + years of personal experience in a healthy, loving and successful relationship. We know how to solve problems and work through difficulties that couples may face on a daily basis. We know ways to keep relationships strong and healthy. We offer you tools and strategies that can make positive changes in your relationship. Find out more about Chuck. Alternatively, find out more about Jo-Ann. Also, follow them on Twitter and 'Like' them on Facebook.
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