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Anal sex: definitely not the final sexual frontier, but to many couples, uncharted territory. The anus itself remains a seemingly dirty mystery, nature's exit, somehow separate from all things intimate, even sexy. However taboo anal may seem, I am here to assure you, dear reader, even you can find pleasure in your, and your lover's, sweet rear.
Here's what you need to bring to the boudoir:
#1 One metric ton of patience and trust: one does not simply wake up and easily take it up the butt. It is an intimate process where you and your partner must be ready to stop when either are uncomfortable.
#2 A healthy dose of your favorite lube. Water based usually works best, especially when using a condom (oil can break down the latex). Also, have some extra condoms on hand.
#3 A few sex toys (small vibrators, beginner dildos, butt plugs). Using condoms? We love LuckyBloke condoms, so we definitely recommend those!
#4 An open mind! This is your body, and your lover's body. Know your body, but be willing to push the boundaries of your pleasure. Anal play is all about finding new pleasures in different places.
THE BASICS
Ok, now that you have your basics, know that there is so much more in the realm of anal than penile penetration. Here's a few to try out as either appetizers or even the main course:
Fingering
What is it? While it may sound obvious, this can go either way.Similarly, the female anus can be home to erogenous zones. While she may not have the power of the prostate, strong nerve endings run through the anus and can easily become a major erotic zone.
Tips for him
Trim your nails. If your nails are jagged, they can hurt!
Also, aim to sync clitoral stimulation with anal, so the stimulation can work off each other. Since the clitoris is the strongest of the female erogenous zones, associating anal play with the clitoris will definitely help in making anal sex more pleasurable.
Tips for her
Also trim your nails. Nails hurt no matter what gender you are. If you can't stand to part with your nails, ladies, then please don't finger your men.
Finding the prostate Also, the male G-spot (the prostate) is tucked away near the opening of the anus. This is where those extra condoms could come in.
Depending on whether you use one or several fingers will determine the size of the condom. Slip on a lubricated condom over a finger and palm facing up, ease the digit in.
If you're allergic to latex, you can always either use a latex-alternative condom, or he can douche before (using an anal douche, not vaginal douche).
About a finger length's in, wiggling the finger in a 'come hither' motion; you should feel a plum-sized lump. Congrats! You've hit gold. That's the prostate. Combine this with fellatio/testes fondling and your guy'll feel a difference.
Rim Jobs
Yes, the anus does not come to mind as a place to put one's mouth, but hear me out. Pre and post cleansing can help out majorly in this department.Enemas can be a messy business, but can definitely cut down on accidents during or after anal play. Plus, it's not the safest idea possibly ingesting fecal matter.
So, if anything, get naked, get in the shower together, and get the juices flowing whilst giving the brown eye a good scrub. Also, keep wipes and towels as back up, just in case. After you've worked out his interest in a rim job (or yours), try several of these ideas. Tips for him
Make sure that he doesn't lick or insert himself into your ass and then into her pussy. Why? Her rear has different kinds of matter that aren't found in her pussy. Otherwise, make sure to start slowly, running your tongue along her anus and then gently pressing it inside. If you'd like, this can also be foreplay for trying anal sex--if so inclined.
Tips for her
With men, make sure that you're not rimming and giving a blowjob afterward. Cleanliness is important when working between the anus and other body parts--for us at GetLusty at least. Another tip, combo a rim job with fingering for a grand slam.
BONUS CHALLENGE
PeggingWhat is it? Pegging is the act of one strap-on wearing female penetrating a willing male counterpart. In a nutshell, reversing the traditional parts of intercourse. If you don't have a strap on, you could try it first with a dildo. However, don't use the dildo again on your vagina unless you've cleaned it very thoroughly.
Tip for her
This one calls for a great amount of trust and open-mindedness from your male partner. Also, it requires lots of communication. Like, how is that? Should I start off slower? Are you ready to get it deeper? Starting off slow is very important when inserting a dildo or strap on into your lover.
Tip for him
Men, make sure to tell your lady how you feel. Is she applying it too hard? Should she ease up on your dildo or strap on? Ease into the sensation and tell her how it feels throughout the process. It's going to be a lot easier if she knows when she's hit your prostate (according to Charlie Glickman, does it feel like you have to pee?).
Not only does the lady get a thrill from being the penetrator (and many strap-ons can stimulate the wearer), but the guy gets the unique perspective not only of being entered, but the chance to have his G-spot properly pleasured. It's a fantastic way to ease into power play as well as switching up roles to deepen your sexual connection. Anal play can, with a little preparation and a lotta love, rocket a couple's chemistry into a new sexual stratosphere. Though, be patient, the anus can be a fickle orifice and needs time to acclimate. But the process can be just as rewarding as the end goal, simply because anal play is about intimacy, connection, and most of all trust. And these are well nigh essential to a couple's shared pleasure.
A Chicagoan, you may see Ellen enjoying the delights of her deeply loving relationship with her boyfriend. Have a naughty story? She's heard naughtier, but tell her all the same at ellen@getlusty.com. She's a wannabe sexpert with years of porn viewing, listening to sex stories, and textbook browsing just waiting to put this knowledge to wonderful use.
Questions? Comments? We'd love to see them below!
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