Showing posts with label cunnilingis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cunnilingis. Show all posts

Cunnilingus 101: Ten Tips to Make Her Orgasm (NSFW)

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Women! How to Encourage Better Cunnilingus

This was one of the most popular articles from Orgasm October so we decided to edit and update it for your reading pleasure!

One of the main questions floating around the GetLusty office is why there are relatively few cunnilingus classes in Chicago. One hypothesis we've heard from event organizers as to why they have such a hard time filling seats for cunnilingus classes is that we women don't tell our husbands or lovers they could use some...ahem...lessons.

So, of course, we've got to address this issue. We think both sexes should constantly improve on their techniques. For women, sometimes we're afraid to ask for what we want. Don't be! Here are some ways you can communicate to him exactly what your vagina wants and needs. GetLusty's Lora Swarts reports.

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1. Think before you speak

Before you start talking and potentially getting off track, think about how to approach this subject. Consider your partner's feelings and write a list of everything you want to discuss. You want to avoid any negativity and hurt feelings. 

2. Be positive

Rather than tell your guy all the things he is doing wrong and potentially causing a fight, explain to him the things he does that make you feel the best. He will get the hint without you making him feel like an inadequate lover. If something is not working for you, then let him know in a way that puts a positive spin on it. For example, if you like it slow in the beginning, tell him to slow it down because you love the way he makes you feel. That lets him know you enjoy the sensations without being negative to him.

3. Give clear directions

This is an important way to let your guy know exactly what you want while he is going down on you. Again, be positive to avoid any hurt feelings. If you enjoy his fingers penetrating you while his tongue is caressing your clitoris, let him know! Men want to please us, and would appreciate clear directions and feedback.  

4. Use positive reinforcement

Tell your partner what a wonderful job they're doing. Positive reinforcement through a moan, groan, or statement, will let your guy know he is doing an awesome job. When he knows you love something he is doing, he will likely keep doing it! 

5. Make it an activity! 

If your guy is an active learner, then he will get the most out of physically going down on you. He will be able to truly explore and put all your words into action. Why not suggest you both work on your oral sex techniques and take turns pleasing each other? This way you can openly tell your guy what feels best in the moment. He can begin to explore without feeling nervous or intimidated because the ultimate goal is getting you off.

Remember, while he is going down on you, stay positive, be clear and employ reinforcement.


Lora is the GetLusty Editorial Intern and resident health nut. When she is not writing, you can find her on her yoga mat, spending too much money on soy lattes or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend in their north side apartment. You can find her on Twitter @honeynutlo.

Have any questions about our editorial content? Contact her at Lora@GetLusty.com.
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Can I Orgasm?

This is another guest post from Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS also known as Dr. Dick. GetLusty loves Dr. Dick! He has been a practitioner of Sex Therapy and Relationship Counseling for over 30 years. Today, he is here to answer a reader's question about if a woman can orgasm after having sex twice.

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Name: Rachel
Gender: Female
Age: 19

Dear Dr. Dick (via GetLusty),

Is it possible for a girl not to be able to have an orgasm after having sex twice?

Thanks,
Rachel

Dear Rachel,

Loads of women, way too many in fact, go through most of their lives being pre-orgasmic. Even having sex on a regular basis and having lots of babies is no guarantee that the woman in question is orgasmic. It’s a staggering statistic that us men simply can’t wrap our heads around. In fact, I believe the earth would stop rotating on its axis if an equal number of men lived most of their lives without being orgasmic.

Now it must be clear to you, even at your tender age, that there are some fundamental differences between the sexes when it comes to sexual enjoyment. But a good portion of that has always been culturally dependent. Men have always had a whole lot more cultural permission to be sexually experimental. And since our willie is just hanging around down there waiting for an invitation to play. Or more precisely it’s our wang that tells us it’s time to play. We get to know our way around our boner early in life. Women? Not so much! Ok, so historically women have been sexually oppressed and repressed. But times they are a changing! And all you women folk out there need to wake up about this.

Nowadays you don’t need nobody’s stinking permission to get real acquainted with your cooch. That’s why I am a really big advocate of the notion that each of us, both the women folk and the men folk, ought to be responsible for our own orgasms even, or more especially, in partnered sex.

If you mean by having sex, (and I hate that ambiguous term), that you’re having full-on cock in cooter fucking, and you’re not being appropriately pleasured, then I think it’s high time for you to take some responsibility for that. I mean you can chalk up just so much sexual disappointment to the sex-negative culture and a slew of offish and uninformed male lovers, darling!

If the man you are with isn’t pleasuring you to orgasm, then it’s your responsibility to take the time to instruct him on how it’s done. If you don’t insist that your partnered sex be mutual and reciprocal, i.e. pleasure for pleasure, then you’re gonna have to suffer the consequences. If loutish men are bumping’ around down there getting their jollies, but leaving you high and dry, literally and figuratively, then you are not taking care of business properly.

Of course, the other alternative is just doing it yourself. Either way, you should have the know-how to bring yourself to orgasm even if you are with an ineffectual lover.

I suppose you know where I’m going with this, huh? Well, here’s the 411 on getting rid of pre-orgasmia once and for all. It is incumbent upon you to be exceptionally well versed in the pleasure points of your own personal pussy so you can pass this information on to the guy who wants to jump your bones. Never, and I mean never, assume a dude is gonna know what to do all on his own. Even a very seasoned lover is not gonna know the particulars of your pussy. But luckily, a seasoned lover will probably ask to be introduced to your cooch as insurance that he does the job right.

Begin by knowing your body and your sexual response cycle inside out. You are intimately familiar with masturbation, right? If not, times a wasting, girl! Start by learning how to pleasure your body to orgasm. Once you get the hang of it, you will likely know the kind of stimulation you need to achieve full arousal in partnered sex, because this is precisely the information you are gonna want to pass on to your partner before the next fuck-fest begins, as well as throughout the event. If you don’t do this, then you probably deserve the sexual wasteland you will surely find.

In other words, if you’re getting it on, but not getting off; you, my dear, need to take some of the blame for that.

Originally posted at Dr. Dick's Sex Advice.

This is a guest post from Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS - aka Dr Dick, sexologist, author, educator, syndicated sex advice columnist and publisher of Dr Dick's Sex Advice and Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews. He's been a practitioner of Sex Therapy and Relationship Counseling for over 30 years.

Richard Wagner (Dr. Dick) affirms the fundamental goodness of sexuality in human life, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond. He knows the unhappiness and anxiety, which sex-negative attitudes can engender in individuals, alienating them from their own body and the bodies of others.

Find Dr. Dick on Twitter @DrDickSexAdvice.
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GetLusty Wants You to Win a Sqweel 2

It's Orgasm October. And the thought of these many orgasms... It's exciting. So the good folks over at Lovehoney gave us a sex toy to share the love. And orgasms. Whee! Ladies, do you like getting orgasms? Do you orgasm from oral sex like I do? Then you should try out Sqweel!

What is Sqweel?

Sqweel is the world's best oral sex toy. And it just got better, ladies.

Not only Sqweel. It's version 2! This one hasn't even been released to the market. It's an extra special giveaway only for GetLusty for Couples readers!

Just as the picture shows, there are 10 tongues. You lube them up, and they're extra soft, gentle and vary speeds.

They're also not in the form of a dildo as most other vibrators are so your man won't be nervous about it introducing on his manliness.

Now, this one isn't just for the ladies! Your guy can also use this on himself or you! Think: running it down his frenulum as an aide in blowjobs! The alternative?

Guy on guy action? You can use this, too! Use it to simulate nipple licking. Use your sqweel for off road tires, maybe? Thanks TrevMurphy from Flickr for the pic.


With love,
Erica Grigg
Chief Lust Officer and co-founder, GetLusty for Couples

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Is She Faking an Orgasm?

Have you ever faked an orgasm just to make your lover happy? Well, it's Orgasm October, so we hope not. What if your partner has faked it? Dr. Richard Wagner AKA Dr. Dick, is here to answer a great question about determining if you're seeing a fake orgasm. What's more important, when you move past these, you might want to also consider our other articles on orgasm! Stay tuned and keep reading.

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Name: Ulrich
Gender: Male
Age: 22

Dear Dr. Dick (by way of GetLusty)

How do I know my girlfriend isn’t faking it? She looks like she’s into it, but sometimes it looks like too much drama. I definitely can't tell from this point of view. How do I tell if her orgasm is real?

Signed,
Too much drama

Dear Too Much Drama,

Too much drama? I love it! I’m gonna assume that you’re talking about what appears to be her throws of pleasure — screaming, moaning and thrashing about, just like in the porno movies. I’m not sure I know why women fake it, men sure as hell don’t go out of their way put on a show if their heart and dick ain’t in it. But women often do and sometimes even us benighted men think something’s fishy so to speak.

Maybe the question you are asking, Ulrich, might stem from a concern you have about your own skill as a lover. I suppose the most obvious reason a woman fakes an orgasm is to massage the ego of the guy who is putting it in her. I suppose it’s the path of least resistance after all. It’s easier to fake it than be honest with her lover about his sexual prowess. Of course there’s always the possibility that the woman in question is pre-orgasmic — that she’s never had an orgasm so she may think that this is how it’s done. How sad is that?

You know how there’s little mystery about a dude’s pleasure — he gets it up, he gets it on and he gets it off — pretty cut and dried. And there’s often the evidence of his pleasure in the form of a pool of his own jizz. Although I hasten to add that an ejaculation is not the same thing as an orgasm, but it is rare to have an ejaculation that isn’t somewhat pleasurable.

A chick is very different, don’t you know? Her sexual organs and arousal are mostly internal. So unless she’s a squirter (a G-spot ejaculation that is) there’s only circumstantial evidence that she is being pleasured. I guess that’s why so many women make all that “drama.” It’s to compensate for not having anything as obvious as a hardon and a puddle of spooge. Of course the drama could also be a way of throwing us boys off the scent, so to speak.

However, there are things you can look for that may indicate your partner is enjoying herself. Knowing something about the female sexual response cycle will, no doubt, be very helpful here. If you don’t know your way around this phenomenon, I’d suggest that you have some remedial study to do.

Again, the male sexual response cycle is pretty obvious — he gets wood. For a woman the analogous response is she gets wet. If your lady has a wet pussy, you may be on the right track. Of course lots of women don’t lubricate all that much, so you might not want to rely on this evidence alone.

In this instance you might look for the secondary signs of arousal – these are pretty much the same in both women and men. Our pupils may dilate, our skin may flush, our nipples may erect, our breathing may increase to a pant, our heart rate will defiantly increase and our toes might curl. Not all of these will happen every time to every person, but you get the drift, right?

In terms of the big “O” men and women differ in many respects, but there are some commonalities. Both women and men can have “mini orgasms” as well as “major” screaming memes. Us men folk tend not to pay too much attention to the little tremors, because we know the big one is coming. Women, on the other hand, have less certainty that the big “O” will show up, so they tend to be more aware of the mini ones. Regardless of the gender, a good portion of an orgasm’s physiologic response is the same in all of us. Muscle contractions, specifically the PC (pubococcygeus muscle) in both women and men, and vaginal and uterine muscles in women, signal orgasm. Everything else— the writhing, the shuddering, the fluttering of the eyes and the moans of delight — is gravy.

If the chick you’re bumping has a wild orgasm every single time, I think she’s faking it. If she cums no matter what you’re doing to her, I think she’s faking it. If she sounds like a cheap porn flick, I think she’s faking it. If she’s still doing the “oh yeah baby, you’re the best…make momma scream,” long after you stopped doing whatever you were doing, I think she’s faking it. If she carrying on, yet looking over at the television or the clock, then I think she’s faking it. If there’s no afterglow after a big “O”, I’ll bet she faked it.

If you think you’re with a faker, you might just want to tell her that she doesn’t need to put on a show for you. On the contrary, you both would be better served with a little honesty. Ask her for some feedback; what’s working, what’s not. If you think the chick you’re with is gonna cum as fast as you, you don’t know your way around a pussy.

And here’s another thing you should know; most women don’t cum from having sex alone. So if you think you've got a magic wand in your pants, you are sadly mistaken. If you’re not using your hands and mouth as well as your willie; she’ll likely fake it.

And finally, if you can’t locate her clit to save your life, you can count on her faking it.

Good luck,
Dr. Dick

Originally posted at Dr. Dick's Sex Advice.

This is a guest post from Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS - aka Dr Dick, sexologist, author, educator, syndicated sex advice columnist and publisher of Dr Dick's Sex Advice and Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews. He's been a practitioner of Sex Therapy and Relationship Counseling for over 30 years.

Richard Wagner (Dr. Dick) affirms the fundamental goodness of sexuality in human life, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond. He knows the unhappiness and anxiety, which sex-negative attitudes can engender in individuals, alienating them from their own body and the bodies of others.

Find Dr. Dick on Twitter @DrDickSexAdvice.
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4 Ways To Tell Your Man You Want Head



At the GetLusty office, we have plenty of conversations about our love lives and experiences. One of the conversations we've had was about Oral sex. We were unanimous in that receiving oral was a must when it came down to doing the deed. This is the inspiration for today's how to: how to tell your lover you need/want oral sex. Our Crimson Love reports.

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If you and your man have not gotten to a point where you're receiving oral sex and you know you want it, here are some ways to bring it up and talk about it.

1. Make a list 

Sit down together and make a list of things you both want to try sexually that you two have not done together yet. On that list make sure that you write down that you want him to give you oral sex. It will be your sexual "to do" list.

2. Show him 

If you are comfortable with porn and sharing it with your lover, find a clip of a woman receiving oral sex and share it with him. Tell him that that is what you want.

3. Have a body exploration day

Allow yourselves some time to explore each other's bodies and give attention to those places that haven't received much love. Make a point to tell each other what you want and express interest in him giving you oral.

4. Write a short erotic story for your lover

Write a short and sexy erotic story based on your fantasies about you and your lover getting frisky. In that story write about your partner giving you oral sex. When you send or share this delicious story with your honey make sure to tell them the story is based on fantasies you want to make come true.

Sometimes telling or asking your lover for something can be a little difficult especially when it comes to your sexual needs. Try some of our suggestions and get back to us in the morning!

With love from, GetLusty!

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love.

Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

 Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com.
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