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Cunnilingus 101: Ten Tips to Make Her Orgasm (NSFW)

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9 Sexy Pics from Tumblr Today (NSFW)

We love Tumblr. We're tumbling more lately on GetLusty's Tumblr page. Our favorite pictures of the day. After reviewing our Tumblr feed, we saw some pretty lovely pictures. Erotic, hot and sexy. So we thought in true GetLusty for Couples fashion--we'd share!

Speaking of social media, have you 'Liked' GetLusty on Facebook yet? We're giving away a Tiani 2 to a lucky 'Liker' by December 1st. We're also on Pinterest and Tumblr, as well as Twitter @getlusty. What?! You're on those platforms and aren't in tune with our awesome content? Have amazing sex. Get lusty.

Sexy couple. Pic via http://justherguy.tumblr.com/

Sexy couple via http://porn4ladies.tumblr.com/

Some great recommendations! via http://www.ladycheeky.com/

Sexy couple. Another from http://www.ladycheeky.com/

Beautiful curves. via http://norwegianfeminism.tumblr.com/

More curves! This time on the back end! via http://cl0thes0ff.com/

Love her outfit! via http://imaginesswag.tumblr.com/

Hot. via http://fashionistorod.tumblr.com/

Beautiful. via http://vitaedium.tumblr.com/

Sexy. via http://sex-all-day.tumblr.com/

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Does Penis Size Matter? (NSFW)

Because it's almost Dick & Dildo December. And men are obsessed with their penises. We have been for a while now. It’s not really the organ itself that we’re captivated by, but the size of said organ. Even in this day and age, our thought process is still pretty primitive. Bigger is better. This is what we boys are taught through social interaction with other primitive-minded males. With a slightly less primitive perspective, lets take a look at some reasoning behind all this penis envy. GetLusty's Jason Estrada is here to talk about it and deconstruct the 'truth' about penis size.

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Does penis length matter? That depends on what you’re actually asking. Does it matter when it comes to underwear shopping? Then, yes, it does matter how big, long or wide your penis is. Does penis length matter when it comes to satisfying your woman? Not necessarily. Read on.

Global penis average

The latest penis length average that is agreed upon by some scientist is 5.1-5.9 inches (flacid). Erect, the numbers were closer to 5-7 inches. Now you might remember it being 6.5 inches, but scientists recently came to the conclusion that the previous statistics were flawed. The 6.5 inches was based on men measuring their own penises. It turns out that the men involved might have embellished the truth a bit. Some just straight out lied.

Whether your penis is 6.5 inches or 5.877 inches, it doesn’t really matter. The vagina will accommodate itself to any length, even a 4-inch penis. The average non-child bearing woman’s vagina is only 3 inches long when not aroused (measured from the opening of the vagina to the tip of the cervix). Once she’s sexually excited, her vagina only extends another inch or so. Though some women have more vaginal depth. According to Ask Alice, "Regardless, during arousal, blood flows to the genital area, and sexual excitement causes the upper two-thirds of the vagina to lengthen by forcing the cervix and uterus to ascend." So no, size doesn't matter. In fact, I think penis size is more about comparison to other penises.

Penis envy

Why are men so nuts when it comes to our little buddy down there? One thing that increases our obsession with penis length is, we don’t believe our partners when they tell us that they’re satisfied. The fact is, if she’s a good wife/girlfriend, she’s gonna lie. She’s going to tell her man that his 4 inch penis is more than enough for her. She can’t stand the thought of a large penis being inside her. This is what men are thinking, that women are just trying to make us feel good about ourselves. And how dare they, right?

We talked about this penis problem in an earlier article. Men seem to think that their penis should look like a porn star’s. You know, the one you watched on your laptop last night while you’re partner was asleep. Comparing your normal human penis to a rare penis-pumped cock is going to hurt your self-esteem. You’re going to start looking at all those penis enlargement websites and wasting your money on scams.

Small dick? Try foreplay

How about this as an alternative: Save that money and take your partner out on a sexy date. Then, later, when you’re both back home, try having an erotic experience together? Sex isn’t all about shoving your dick in and out of her. Try some of our articles on different sex positions (like the pussy scarf) and definitely make her orgasm with cunnilingus. You can even up the ante with G-spot stimulation during cunnilingus. Still not sure? We recommend the 3 must read books on cunnilingus. Most importantly, listen to your partner. If you do something unnatural to your penis and welcome her home with something that’s going to hurt her, you’ve just ruined sex with the person you love. When she tells you that you are a perfect size, believe her!

Thanks to the ironically titled Big Dick Superiority Tumblr for the pic.

Jason Estrada is currently working on his master's for creative writing, in the hopes of becoming a very rich screenwriter some day. His other interests include photography, cinematography, and video editing. His favorite book is The Great Gatsby. Favorite movie is either The Crow or When Harry Met Sally - can't decide. And his all time favorite show is Doctor Who.

When he's not enjoying any of those things, you can find him at home, drinking and smoking way too much while listening to VNV Nation. You can email him at jason@getlusty.com.

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Best of November: 7 Must-See Sex Positive YouTube Channels

We're all about sex positivity and sex education. So what better place to learn about sex than YouTube? You'd think the opposite, and that could be true. However, YouTube provides a lot of great material from a variety of different sources. For topics relating to sex and relationships, videos are indispensable. Here are some of our favorite YouTube channels. GetLusty's Andrew Ewald reports.

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#1 ReidAboutSex

According to Reid's site, "If Dr. Ruth and Jon Stewart had a son, that son would be Reid Mihalko." A sex and relationship expert who uses humor, insight, and solid facts to teach adults how to live better lives.  For Reid, sex and intimacy do not have to be scary.  They are experiences that can increase confidence, health, and humor.

An intuitive and educated speaker, he has also been the writer and producer on a number of films and television programs on relationships. He believes that everyone has the power to turn a mediocre relationship into something fun and healthy.

#2 Dan Savage

Simply put, GetLusty for Couples ♥'s Dan Savage! 

Dan Savage is a writer and activist most known for his sex advice column "Savage Love" and as the co-founder of the It Gets Better Project. He is also the editor of Seattle's weekly alternative newspaper, The Stranger, and an executive producer on the It Gets Better special for MTV. Dan is starring in the upcoming MTV series Savage U. Also follow this sex education rock star on Twitter @fakedansavage.

#3 Love, Learn and Get Laid by Laci Green

Created by University of California, Berkeley graduate Laci Green, the show tackles large sexual issues in a nonchalant, unpretentious way. Don't be fooled by her laid-back approach: She is an extremely passionate activist and social-worker.

The 27 year-old San Franciscan, "blog-blogger, social scientist, asparagus lover & artichoke dipper," is all over the internet with her Facebook, Tumblr, YouTube, Twitter @gogreen18, and lacigreen.tv. She is also a huge supporter of sex education and Planned Parenthood. 

#4 Kicesie's Sex Ed

According to her YouTube page, "I am a peer, not a professional! I don't have professional knowledge on any subject yet...I spent hundreds of hours researching and putting together information. I encourage everyone to do their own research as well!" Kicesie Drew's straightforward videos showcase her findings on advanced sex education.


#5 Sex with Emily

This is an extremely comprehensive channel that deals with all aspects of relationships, no matter how taboo or mundane they may seem. Created by sex and relationship expert Emily Morse. She is a prolific author, instructor, talk show host, podcaster, and recurring reality television personality on Bravo's Miss Advised.

She is also a well-respected news source and has been featured in The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, and San Francisco Chronicle. She holds two bachelors degrees from the University of Michigan in psychology and political science.

#6 Ask Dan & Jennifer

Sometimes a simple question and answer format is the best way to get sex advice. Dan & Jennifer Baritchi address many common and not-so-common concerns that viewers have. (Check out the podcast interview here at GetLusty for even more information.)

The most important, as well as useful, thing about this channel is how they address every aspect of a relationship. From flirtation to anal-sex, they have every base covered. They also test out a lot of products and let us know what works and what doesn't.

#7 New World Sex Education by Jaiya

According to her site, "Jaiya is an internationally recognized, award-winning sexologist, author of Red Hot Touch, and the founder of New World Sex Education; a company dedicated to using 'real' sex education to help men and women get the sex lives they desire."

Her passion for helping people is undeniable and she is extremely open about her own experiences, both positive and negative. Jaiya puts great emphasis on the idea that sex is not simply an act that people do, but an expression of being alive.

Andrew Ewald is a GetLusty writer who spends most of his time reading, writing, cooking, and watching RuPaul's Drag Race with his girlfriend. He graduated from Western Michigan University with a Bachelor's in in English. He might act like a square, but nothing is taboo with this character. Connect with him! E-mail him at editorial@getlusty.com.

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Best of November: What Does It Mean to Be a 'Real' Man?

The topic of 'manhood' is one that obviously has gotten people talking. That's why we're excited this article is featured in the 'Best of November'. Getting a conversation around gender norms and sexuality is absolutely wonderful for us. Think about it: your identity and self-love are essential to your sexual identity. Feeling confident and wonderful about you makes your partner feel sexy, too.

Many of the ladies at the office have agreed--we've all thought and talked about, 'real' men. We've talked about, 'real' men like we're not in control of our social norms. Most of us are more than familiar with gender stereotypes as they are applied to women. But we usually don't put too much thought into how men are stereotyped. What does it mean to be a, "real" man, anyway? Marc Ellis of Sexual Candor, inspired by Charlie Glickman, explores the social pressures of manhood and some inspiration for us to think of manhood with a grain of salt.

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The 'Act-Like-A-Man' Box

I was first exposed to the concept of the “act-like-a-man box” two years ago through an article by Charlie Glickman and a TED talk that I came across in the same month. While the term was new, the concept was not; as I had been living in that box from pre-adolescence to earlier that year when I took my first steps outside of it.

If you are not familiar with the “act-like-a-man box,” it’s a description of the narrow range in which masculinity is defined and the social pressure that men face to conform to it. As men, many of us find that we willingly stepped inside of that box, learning to perform masculinity to avoid the shame or fear of being labeled as less of a man, a homosexual, or a woman (and that linkage of misogyny and homophobia is another blog post to write). If you are new to the concept of the act-like-a-man box, take a few minutes to read Charlie Glickman’s, "Picking and Choosing from the 'Act Like a Man Box'" or The Performance of Masculinity who can explain it far better than myself, and listen to Tony Porter’s A Call to Men.

Before coming across the idea of the man box, I had been far more familiar with the gender stereotypes that are placed on women. Growing up in the 1970's we saw a clear distinction between male professions (doctor, lawyer, mechanic, etc.) and female professions (nurse, secretary, teacher). Girls were discouraged from playing sports or being seen as a ‘tomboy.’

Over the years, I have seen this largely change, with women now free to aspire to any profession, dress how they want, take on what were traditionally feminine or masculine behaviors, or even experiment sexually with another woman without being labeled for it. While I understand that women continue to face negative social pressures, such as slut-shaming, and gender discrimination in numerous ways; femininity can now be expressed in a fairly wide range, much more so than the rigidity that is masculinity.

Be a man

As a young boy I was told by my father that boys don’t cry, and he threatened me with violence when I did, as it is only through physical pain that there may be an excuse for tears. I was discouraged from showing emotion and learned quickly to hide it. Without having a word for it, I retreated into the man box. As I grew older I found more parts of myself that did not fit inside that box. My emotions were more complicated than a man’s should be, so they were hid from others. Sometimes I would cry from ‘feelings’, the tears wiped dry before they could be seen.

As I matured sexually, I had thoughts of sexual submission that spoke to a vulnerability I did not understand, so they were kept to masturbatory fantasy. Worse of all, in addition to my primary interest in women, I had thoughts of being sexual with a man. This is something that certainly did not belong in the box and was quickly repressed. When I began to have sex, I found that I desired a more varied sexual experience that extended to more than my penis, but was not able to communicate this as my request could be seen as unmanly. As Charlie Glickman points out, “since the logic of the box is an either/or, you’re either all the way in or you’re all the way out,” and I was determined to stay in.

The following image of the “Act-Like-a-Man” is from an article written by Paul Kivel and shows what is expected inside the man box (left and right sides of the gray box), what keeps man inside the box (the words and actions on either side of the grey), and in the center – the emotions a man is left with by being inside that box.

Repression and Shame

I spent most of my life living with this shame and repression around my emotions and sexuality. Had I been gay, I believe I would have been able to stand up for who I was.

But as a predominantly heterosexual man who looked the part, I shut down those problematic parts of myself instead. I married young, had children young, and focused on work, not dealing with the disconnect I felt between who I knew myself to be and how I allowed myself to be seen. This disconnect with my emotions, my desire for vulnerability, the intimacy it allows for, and the shame associated with sexual desires continued to grow. The repression was not working. Given time, desire grows stronger than shame. I felt isolated, confused, and grew resentful and angry. Keeping myself inside that box was damaging myself and destroying my marriage.

Stepping out of the box

It was my exposure to ‘sex-positive’ podcasts that cracked that box open. Specifically, it was Dan Savage’s podcast where I listened to hundreds of people leave their questions that I finally understood the tremendous diversity in who we are sexually, and the amazing commonality in our desire to hear that we are ‘normal’. I discovered that my problems were not unique. So many of us feel isolated, even when partnered; looking to be fulfilled and accepted for who we truly are.

Through a growing list of podcasts, I began to get in touch with what I wanted. As I worked to accept myself, I began to seek out advice on how to restore my marriage which has long suffered a break-down in communication. While I found advice on dealing with a spouse that did not communicate, where intimacy was lacking, and there was a desire for vulnerability and sexual satisfaction; nearly all of this advice was written for a woman.

After all of the work I did, to take these initial steps out of this box, I came close to retreating back inside when the advice I sought basically called me a woman for wanting intimacy, communication, and sexual satisfaction. Eventually I laughed this off and worked up the courage to take the biggest risk I felt I could take - to face extreme vulnerability, and put it all out there – to tell my wife what I wanted for myself and for us.

While this may have been the scariest thing I had done, it was also the most liberating. While the conversation and its immediate aftermath did not go great, it was far better than my worst fears imagined. Eventually we began talking about my needs for communication and intimacy, my sexual needs from her, and my interest in exploring bisexuality.

While I had long struggled with these desires, this was new to her and I had to be patient. Through these conversations, we set down this new path to open up to one another, to better understand our own needs and what we need from one another. While this is still a work in progress, the open and honest communication that came from these conversations brought us much closer than we had been in many years. Taking that risk was the best thing I ever did, and while I regret that I allowed myself to waste so many years defined by a box based on social pressure, I am grateful that I arrived at a place where I could be honest with myself and with my wife about who I am and what I need.


Marc Ellis overcame years of shame and repression to find acceptance and joy, embracing his sexuality and sharing it with his wife of 20 years. Together they are opening up to new experiences. Fascinated by the truths of sex and sexuality, Marc has been writing about his experiences with exploring bisexuality, kink, and ethical non-monogamy with the hope of helping others struggling with repressed desire. Marc blogs at sexualcandor.com and can be found at twitter @sexualcandor.

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Best of November: Eat Me! The Pussy Scarf

Ah, cunnilingus. Everyone loves it--obviously! This was one of our most popular articles from November! There might even be a few things you didn't know about cunnilingus. And gosh--it's getting cold out there! You wouldn't leave your house without bringing your scarf with you. So why not put it to good use inside the bedroom?

The Scarf. It's your basic cunnilingus position. But it's tried and true. And anyone can get into and use this one!

How to get into it

Lay down, stomach up. Your giver should be nestled between your legs. Your legs being close to your giver's ears, or even crossed. Your legs should be around your giver's neck like a scarf. Keeping your lover close, nice, and warm.

Benefits for the receiver

• You can pull your lover in with your thighs
• You have leverage to lift up and grind your hips
• Your hands are free to grab your partner's hair and change the tempo
• You have a great view of your lover
• You can touch and caress yourself (squeezing or rubbing your nipples?) 
• Sit back and enjoy the gift of cunnilingus--you're on top of the world!

Benefits for the giver

• You can reach up and caress your partner
• You can pull yourself in closer
• You're in a position to look up and watch the reactions
• If you don't want to caress, you can use your fingers with your tongue
• With consent--you can ask to include 1 or 2 fingers or even a toy and stimulate the g-spot. We even wrote an entire article on g-spot stimulation during cunnilingus
• We even have top cunnilingus tips to make her orgasm

We also recommend the other positions below, as well. We have a whole collection of positions! Check out our full catalog of sex positions. We even have recommendations on books to make you a cunnilingus expert. Also! How about these other sex position faves:

• Gobble, Gobble Pussy
• Pussy Buffet
• Hidden Pussy
• Edible Yoga

Ideas about other positions? Do e-mail us directly at reply@getlusty.com.

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1 Day Left! Win a LELO Tiani™ 2 From SheVibe!

Dear readers,

We love sex toys, as you may have seen. Since it's Thanksgiving week and nearly Christmas, what better time to enjoy sex toys? We thought so, too! Just in time for #SexToyTuesday and #ToyWithMeTuesday.

Why we love SheVibe? Let us count the ways...

#1 Their name. SheVibe? Yes, please!

#2 Their great customer feedback. For example, check out this customers' review, "Sandra, you've been absolutely awesome! I've bought intimate items locally and from several different companies online. I've NEVER had the customer service like you've provided. I will definitely be a return customer!! :) Thank you so much for all for your help." -- T.L.

#3 SheVibe has made the commitment to add only body safe products to the site going forward. This means premium silicone and premium materials only. Above all, they encourage customers to vibe responsibly! According to SheVibe, sex is a healthy expression of life so make it fun and always play safe.

Why is LELO Tiani™ 2 the ultimate couples sex toy?

Let's start off with LELO; it's an awesome sex toy company! They make high quality, well designed sex toys and accessories. The world’s leading designer brand for intimate lifestyle products, LELO was launched in 2003. According to LELO, the company has been famous for transforming the look, feel and function of how personal massagers are perceived, bringing a new level of luxury to products of this kind.

Now about the sex toy itself. The Tiani™ 2 Design Edition is the upgraded version of the Red Dot award-winning couples’ massager, designed for women to wear when making love. LELO’s unique SenseMotion™ technology allows users to control sensations during lovemaking through movements of a remote; while all-new enhancements including the 50% more powerful motor and 3X greater wireless range increase possibilities still further.

Fully waterproof for easy cleaning or use in the bath or shower, Tiani™ 2 can now be controlled with or without the remote and comes with a new full-feeling attachment that offers extra-targeted pleasures, bringing increased stimulation and total control to even the most adventurous positions.

How to use it? More details, including a YouTube video tutorial, here

• For couples, use it while making love (he or you can have the remote to amp the fun factor as the signal travels up to 48 feet)
• Use it as a vibrator for masturbation (without penetration)
• Use it for nipple stimulation

Please enter to win! Like GetLusty on Facebook today! We're also on Twitter! Like @GetLusty there.

With love,
Erica Grigg
Chief Lust Officer and co-founder, GetLusty for Couples

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Be a Marketing Intern at GetLusty for Couples

We want to give you an opportunity to get involved first-hand with a growing media company. Join the GetLusty for Couples team. We've also posted this opportunity on Craigslist Chicago.

Why you want to work here

Working at GetLusty for Couples means you'll gain experience you wouldn't get at a big business. All your work will make a significant impact and you'll have real-world experience and a lot of experience to take with you. This means you'll learn about startup life at a small, growing technology company.
• We work to make this the most rewarding, fun and knowledge-gaining experience you'll ever have as an intern.
• Your boss(es) enable you to connect directly with speakers, influencers and authors in the sex therapy, sex education, relationship improvement and technology space.
• You'll learn about numerous different areas of marketing. For example, how to effectively get online and offline participation for content, B2B and B2C marketing. How about analytics and social media (Tumblr, G+, Facebook and Pinterest)? Yeah--that, too!

About your Boss(es)

• The couple who founded this business have over 25+ years experience in large business and organizations like Microsoft, AdCenter, MSN, the United Nations and the World Wildlife Federation, as well as startups internationally.
• We understand mission-driven business; previously managing a digital agency for non-profit clients in London and New York.
• We're connected with Chicago's most prominent tech leaders and community.
• We work hard & play hard, supporting a fun and learning-filled office experience.

For more information on Erica Grigg, visit http://www.linkedin.com/in/ericagrigg. For more on Tim Watson, visit http://www.linkedin.com/in/sociallytim.

Tasks

• Managing social media (Tumblr, Pinterest, Facebook, Google+) campaigns
• Creating and editing marketing analytics documents
• Updating and executing eNewsletter campaigns
• Establishing the GetLusty brand offline and online

What we need from you 

• A passion for marketing
• 20-hours per week and an 8-week commitment
• Interested in social media
• Attention to detail, a sex positive outlook and the ability to talk about balls, dicks and vulvas constantly

We want to hear from you!

Please e-mail Erica Grigg, Chief Lust Officer and Chief Editor at reply@getlusty.com, including the "Marketing Intern" in the subject line. Please include your cover letter and resume. This is an unpaid position but offers a lot of room for education.

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The Foot Fetish: What Is It, Anyway?

Feet. Sometimes they're a little... Well, they're gross. But imagine when they're clean, well manicured and getting sucked on? That's a wonderful feeling. We've talked before about the history of the foot fetish. And it could be an erotic addition to your next foreplay session. Foot fetishism is more common that one may think. Many celebrities have admitted to loving feet! C'mon. Who wouldn't want a foot massage every night before bed? GetLusty's Raven Skye reports on how common foot fetish really is. Also, what is this beloved fetish all about, anyway?

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Definition of foot fetish

Foot fetishism, foot partialism, foot worship, or podophilia is a pronounced sexual interest in feet. The clinical term for foot fetish is podophilia. It is defined as an intense sexual interest in feet and can be as extreme as inability to be aroused without seeing or touching feet. Although popular with both sexes, 70% of foot fetishists are men. The kinds of practices that go along with this fetish are toe sucking and licking, massaging, foot jobs, and even foot-intercourse (anally or vaginally).

Most popular fetish

The foot fetish is the most popular sexual fetish. Maybe it helps that women love shoes? If you or your partner have a foot fetish, you are definitely not alone. There are even many well known celebrities with a foot fetish. Some famous feet lovers are Marilyn Manson, Quentin Tarantino, Andy Warhol, Brooke Burke, and Elvis Presley!

'Baywatch'-famed actress and home-made porn star Pamela Anderson calls feet the “sexiest part of a woman’s body,” while Playboy model (and mother) Brooke Burke relates, "Toe sucking is just so good." Other celebrities who endorse foot fetishism are Enrique Iglesias and Ludacris (StudentLife.com). So, you are not alone and you don't need to feel like you're a freak or ashamed for getting aroused by feet.

Exploring your foot fetish 

First, check with your partner (check out our sexual negotiation article for more). Ensure that this is something they might be interested in exploring. It's easy to start having some foot fun with your partner. You can start by making sure your feet are clean. If you're a woman maybe paint those toenails and moisturize your feet with lotion every night before bed. Men should keep their feet looking nice, too.

Some easy starter questions you might ask your partner are: Do you think my feet are pretty? Have you ever thought about licking my toes? Can I use my foot to (insert sex act here)? This will get the dialogue started and you might be surprised by your partner's enthusiasm. If they are into it, just have fun with it. Lick your partner's toes as foreplay, or just for fun. Ask for a foot massage from your partner and add some lotion or baby oil. Maybe you can use the arches of your feet to stroke your man's penis. Do what feels right for you.

Feet are definitely becoming more incorporated into the bedroom these days. They can be very sexy and add a little spice to your sex life. Everyone from your next door neighbor to A-list celebrities are having fun with feet. Give foot love a try, if you've considered it in the past. Along these lines, we'll have a foot fetish 101 article coming up soon on recommendations for trying this enjoyable past time!

Speaking of fetishes, have you 'Liked' GetLusty on Facebook yet? We're giving away a Tiani 2 to a lucky 'Liker' by December 1st. We're also on Pinterest and Tumblr, as well as Twitter @getlusty. What?! You're on those platforms and aren't in tune with our awesome content? Have amazing sex. Get lusty.

This a guest post by our resident sex lover Raven Skye. She's a 27 year-old, redheaded, adult model, cam girl, blogger, student and writer with glasses. Raven adores learning about and exploring new fetishes and sexual concepts. She has a BS in Psychology and has been working in the adult industry in many aspects for over 3 years. She loves writing and I cannot wait to share her kinky knowledge with you! Follow her on Twitter @raven69skye.

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Labiaplasty & Porn: What Can We Learn? (Pt 2)

Who doesn't love a beautiful vulva? Why isn't every vulva beautiful? This Naked November, we're thinking about nudity and body image. We think you should be naked more often. In fact, we have ways to help you feel better about your naked body. Sometimes, though, as humans, we compare ourselves to others. This could give us a complex! In the discussion of body image, we're talking about the plastic surgery called labiaplasty. We continue Hylton Coxwell's of Vulva 101's discussion about porn's affect on women's genitals. Here, Hylton jumps into the specifics of his argument.

* * *

First, a word on pubes

Contrary to popular belief, removing pubic hair is not a new thing. We humans have been doing it for at least 5,000 years, and probably considerably longer, for both aesthetic and practical reasons. So why do we start seeing shaved vulva appearing in porn in the mid- to late-1980s?

That’s actually a trick question. Though the 1980s are often cited as the start of the shaved vulva trend, that’s not when we see the first smooth vulva on-screen. Scroll back to 1972, the movie Deep Throat sports Linda Lovelace’s fully shaved vulva. Thanks to Fanpix for the picture. When asked in an interview with Esquire Magazine why she shaved for the film, Linda replied, “I always do. I like it.”

And today, women (and men) answer that question the same way. They remove their pubic hair because they want to, they like it and because they can. Of course, there were porn movies before the 1970s, but by today’s standards they were very difficult to produce, acquire and view, ergo they only had very limited audiences.

In these ‘stag films’ we still find the occasional shaved vulva, even in very early black and white films (silent but with big band soundtracks). Personally, jazz and swing are a little off-putting in terms of porn music, but I grew up in the age of “bow chicka wow-wow” themes, so I can’t be one to judge. Either way, it’s another example of how porn is a reflection of society.

Shaved vulva on film can be traced back to somewhere between 1915 and 1920, coincidentally the same time we start seeing shaved armpits in Hollywood movies. Prior to that we run out of film pretty rapidly, but we have literary evidence, artwork and the existence of the pubic wig, or ‘merkin’ (dating back to the mid-1400s) to show us people have been removing pubic for a very long time.

Clearly, porn isn’t causing people to shave, wax, laser or trim. People shaving, waxing, lasering and trimming are what’s causing hair-free vulva in porn, not the other way around.

The unnatural vulva

What about vulva themselves, does porn on film/video show “unnatural” or “impossibly neat” ones? Many claim the vulva seen in porn don’t appear in nature and seeing these unnatural vulva causes women to feel bad about theirs and incites them to have labiaplasty surgery. That’s simply not true and it’s one of the most mind-numbingly stupid things I’ve ever heard.

We already established in Part 1 the vulva shown in photographic porn are indeed real and actually vulva. No impossibly perfect—I think they’re all possibly perfect—nor surgically altered, dyed or Photoshopped vulva anywhere to be found (except when required by law). Video, of course, shows the same real vulva. With one caveat: there’s surprisingly very little visible vulva on video (say that three times fast!).


The hidden vulva

Even in big-budget, two-hour features there can be less than five minutes of footage in which you can clearly see a vulva. I used a stopwatch, admittedly a strange way to watch porn, and some scenes I didn’t press the button once!

It can vary quite a bit depending on the genre, but most of the time there’s something (a body part or object) in the way, obscuring our view, or the shot is too wide to make out any details beyond their pubic hair style. When we, for a few fleeting seconds, do see vulva, they are naturally diverse. Long labia, short ones and barely there ones, dark and light and every shade in between. They match the complexions of those who have them, no dye or photoshop needed.

The pornographic scapegoat

So this impression that porn is making women shave or making them feel so bad about their vulva they are compelled to get labiaplastic surgery, where is this coming from? It’s coming from sources who aren’t interested in facts and evidence, as they are consumed with their own insecurities and go to great lengths to blame pornography for their problems. It’s the same group which writes things like “porn is cruel and violent” and “porn dehumanizes women and turns them into nothing more than sex objects.” This attitude begs the question: what kind of porn are these people watching?!

Anti-porn hysteria doesn’t reflect reality. It’s a delusion, whether it comes from the mouths of politicians, religious leaders or activists, and it needs to be treated as such.

Many of these rather shrill people want to see porn banned. Their minds, like cement, are all mixed up and permanently set. Their message should be ignored. A better message would be one based on facts: if you’re watching porn and see a vulva (or penis) that looks different than your own, it’s simply because everyone is unique. That uniqueness should be celebrated and appreciated.

With a background ranging from journalism, publishing and photography to computer programming and languages, along with an insatiable curiosity of the world around us, Hylton Coxwell explores a hidden topic in his first book ‘Vulva 101’. Born in 1976 near Belleville, Ontario (Canada), Hylton moved to Hiroshima, Japan in the mid- 90’s to study Japanese and various martial arts. Having returned to the Belleville area, he now teaches self-defense classes, mostly to women, and owns several small businesses. Follow Hylton on twitter @Vulva101. You can also email him at info@vulva101.com, or subscribe to his Facebook page.

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